I used to think I was afraid of failure. Or maybe I just used to be afraid of failure. Failure as a fear is a little atypical because no one tells you to just "face your fears" when your fear is failure... Unfortunately for me, I got the chance to. I faced my fear of failure, head on, and more than once. And each time, I survived it!
I do still have fears currently. In fact, I have two fairly large fears. I fear car crashes/accidents/collisions. I fear them so much that when watching an insurance commercial or an action movie, I have to cover my eyes if I see one coming. If I don't see it coming, I jump. It's pretty bad. If there's an apparent car accident on the side of the road, I stare straight ahead. My high school, every year, does a "Prom Reenactment" where they reenact a car accident caused by a student who is intoxicated. My high school went all-out. There were smashed cars, one of my theater friends got put into a body bag... I sat there watching sick to my stomach. So yeah, afraid of car accidents.
The other day I had to tag some cars that were parked in our church's parking lot without a paid parking pass. I was so nervous that one of them would see me do it, get pissed, and come after me, that after I tagged the cars, I hung out in the church for a half hour waiting for them to leave.
I wouldn't say I'm paranoid. Let's ignore the fact that part of paranoia is not realizing you're paranoid. Anyways. I wouldn't say I'm paranoid. I just have a slightly irrational fear of people's potential irrationality. Oh you want another example? Let me tell you about tonight.
Being the passive aggressive person I am, I knock on the connected wall a couple of times. Then the noise stops! ... for about two minutes. Any rational person would have walked out of the apartment, took a 60 foot stroll, and knocked on their door, politely asking them to stop. After all, the person playing the recorder could be this person! Ignoring the fact that I don't live in an Abby. But no. In fact, after knocking on the wall... I ran to make sure my door was locked. Because in my mind, the person playing the recorder at one in the morning would obviously come closer to resembling this person:
Dear Mysterious Next-door Neighbor,
I am a huge supporter of music as a creative outlet. That being said, STOP PLAYING THE DAMN RECORDER!
Your Passive Aggressive Next-door Neighbor.
That'll teach him! ...and now I have to move.
Here's hoping that sleep came easier to you and that your musical neighbors have normal practice hours, and better instruments.
Thanks for reading!