A Guest Blog By Nicole Logas!
She has played this game, many times; and currently she doesn’t feel as if she has the patience to amuse this little man, even if there is a free drink involved.
Realizing that she hasn’t yet lit the cigarette in her hand, she strikes a match (compliments of the bar), and holds it to the end of the cigarette that dangles from her mouth.
She inhales deeply, leans her head back, and puffs the smoke out in thick O’s.
Her thoughts had just trailed off, when they were interrupted by the waiter.
She would appreciate another glass indeed, “Anything” she thought, that would take the edge off and allow her to loosen up a bit.
Life hadn’t quite been the same since she had run “M” off. What was she supposed to do, he wanted a family! And only recently did she realize that he meant with her.
When he told her this, she choked, literally. She had just taken a drag off her cigarette, and gagged when she laughed at the idea. He was so caring and gentle too, she loved to lie next to him in the middle of the night, and watch the expressions on his face as he dreamed.
Her favorite was his frown, there was something sheepish and naïve about it.
The waiter again, just in time. She promised herself that that particular incident would not invade her thoughts.
He sat the glass of wine down on the table and cleared away the old one, as he did this his arm brushed hers and their eyes immediately met, but only for a second.
There was uncomfortable air between their eyes and she was glad when he walked away.
She checks her watch and takes a drink of the deep blood-red wine.
Feeling the warm alcohol seep down her throat, and into her stomach, she begins to relax.
As her limbs loosened and the kink in her neck grew numb, she could not shake off or ignore the loneliness that was creeping in.
It would gather thickly in her stomach, leaving no room for an appetite.
And for however long it saw fit it would reside within her, for days it would burden her, suck out every last bit of her energy, and leave her lying lifeless on her bed.
She looked around the room hoping to meet a pair of friendly eyes to ease the loneliness that was seeping in faster now,
no eyes looked back, even the stocky little man at the next table was now accompanied by not one but two women, two blonds with short skirts and tall drinks.
She realized then at that moment that there was no solace to be found here, or anywhere for that matter
To read more by Nicole, , visit her blog: Woman vs. Self