1. I hate that, after they teased me, I avoided something I love for over a month.
2. I hate that I never have the guts to tell them that it hurts, that I'm far more fragile than I let on because I've heard it enough that "I'll have to get over that."
3. I hate that I've come to understand my sensitivity as a weakness, to the point where I've torn off the sleeves where I once wore my heart so now it all just hits skin directly.
4. I hate that I let mirrors tell me my worth.
5. I hat that, when people tell me that they're in love I become jealous. As if what I want is what they have when, in reality, what I want is something that is mine, and not theirs'.
6. I hate that sometimes I give into the idea that being by myself means that I'm somehow incomplete.
7. I hate that, at night, I don't want to go to sleep because I might fail in some way tomorrow.
8. I hate that this may be the most honest thing I ever write... and I may never post it.
March 12, 2014