As he stormed out of the office, I sighed. What a recognizable moment, I thought. It was about six months before when I had been in the same situation. For me, it was this feeling of not only anger, but helpless anger. I didn't know why I was angry, I didn't know who I was even angry at, all I knew was I was angry and I could tell it was starting to affect the people around me.
I started feeling like my anger was something I was being consumed and trapped by. I wasn't controlling it, it was controlling me, and that had to stop. I've always loved being creative. I've always loved expression; it's why I paint, draw, write, and sing. However, I didn't really see my hobbies for what they were; tools. See, I knew I liked to paint, sing, and write... but for some reason there was a personal disconnect between the activity and the way it made me feel. Of course I liked painting because I always felt so relaxed after doing it. Since last semester I was in a poetry class while all of this was going on, I approached writing differently.
I had this tendency to hold off on writing, waiting for brilliance. That's why, prior to my poetry class, I had a total of three strong pieces. I kept deciding that what I was writing, wasn't important enough. So I stopped. I stopped putting my ideas on paper for fear that they weren't strong enough to change the world. Well, in my poetry class, I had to get over that rather quickly because we were turning in a poem a week. And I don't care who you are, writing something that changes the world every week is exhausting! So I stopped trying to be brilliant, or influential... I decided instead to just focus on being honest. Through using writing and poetry as an outlet for an honest interpretation of my life, I started feeling a lot better (and my poetry got better too)!
Now, back to my friend. I got a chance to talk to him later. I asked him what kinds of outlets he had for his emotions such as anger, frustration, and anxiety. After telling me that he didn't really have any, I asked him if he'd ever considered writing. And this is something I would say to absolutely anyone dealing with emotional issues/baggage/frustration. It's as simple as this:
Just open up a word document and start typing.
Type with the idea that no one save yourself and God will ever know what you're writing. (It usually helps me to be more honest that way.)
Even if you delete it afterwards, at least you're releasing your emotions through your fingertips.
This is why my blog is about everyday things. My blog is not a collection of literary masterpieces. My blog is not informative on how to be a better person, how to save the word, or how to turn your old lawn chair into beautiful living room furniture. I write my blog because it keeps me healthy and because it shows that writing doesn't have to be profound! It just has to be honest.
Outlets come in all shapes and sizes. Most people have them, some people don't even realize it. But, at least in my case, it's vital for my emotional health.
Thanks for reading!