This specific TED Talk is geared towards youth, but Dr. Heldman's message is one every person could stand to hear. She speaks in detail about why being a sex object is not empowering. She goes into detail about the difference between a subject and an object. Watching the video is 13 minutes that can do nothing but educate you and maybe give you something to think about.
Watch the video or don't, this post is about something the video made me think about.
A lot of people, no matter your gender, will recognize this moment. (If you don't, well here's a look inside the thought process.)
You're at a gathering, maybe a party, maybe you're just hanging out with some friends. You're feeling really confident about the way you look that day. You spent time on your appearance, and you're on top of the world. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see someone walk in the room. They look positively great! Immediately you sink. You start telling yourself "Well, at least I tried..." and you take your place blending in with everyone else.
I know this situation, because this has been my way of thinking for a long time.
I think one of the reasons I was drawn to the study of sociology was because I love considering new ways of thinking and understanding.
In the video above, Heldman explains that sexiness is not a limited commodity.
Let me run that by you again, sexiness is not a limited commodity.
Just because one person has it, doesn't mean that you have less of it.
This idea that you are as sexy as you are without consideration of another person's sexiness makes so much sense! It's logic. Beauty is an independent variable.
Accept and appreciate others' beauty, because beauty is there to be cherished.
But acknowledge that your beauty is just as real as theirs, and that no one is capable of taking that away from you.
Consider watching the video.
Consider a new way of thinking.
Consider your own sexiness.
And as always,
Thank for reading :)
-Em