Within the last 8 days I have been accepted into my graduate school of choice, had a kick-ass interview for a job I applied for, and -most recently- I found out that I am a finalist for a full-tuition scholarship for aforementioned seminary. The job I already have (as a church youth director) is going really well. So many things are going so well... Why am I not happy?
I can tell you why; and I do it to myself. I wear my happiness, much like my heart, on my sleeve. Unfortunately, the combination of that and being a people-pleaser by nature, makes my happiness as much of a gamble as rooting against a happy ending at the conclusion of a romantic comedy.
...I tend to lose.
Today could be fantastic, yesterday could have been wonderful, and tomorrow has the potential to be the best day of my life. Unfortunately, it seems to take only one wrong interaction -sometimes a lack of interaction- to take my day from great to what the hell(?). It's frustrating to say the least. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let it get to me? I'm trying to be done with those unnecessary things that make me angry or annoyed. After all, if they're unnecessary then (by definition) I don't have to deal with them. Awesome.
This isn't supposed to happen now. This is supposed to be my between-time, my time to get some semblance of an adult-life figured out. Please don't explain that this doesn't happen in six months. I know that. I was just hoping to get started.
Thanks for reading :)
PS. Sorry this post isn't the most positive. There may be a silver lining in the future. Let's see what happens.