When I turned 15, I decided that it was no longer something I could blame on being young. I realized that my weight was something that I could change. At 15 years old, I joined a weight-loss support group. No one outside of my family knew; not my closest friends, not my boyfriend... no one. I was really ashamed because it's just not part of the teenager "package." No high schooler wants to tell their friends that they're missing the [school activity] because they have to go to a weight-loss meeting. But that's what I did. I started my sophomore year of high school at 144 lbs. I don't have any pictures of that time (probably on purpose), but I can't image I looked much different than this:
I was happy, and healthy, and confident. I could wear the cute clothes that I had always drooled over. At the time this picture was taken, I could fit in as small as a size 3. It was crazy. But it was real, and I worked hard for it.
So why am I telling you all of this?
I did the college "diet." I ate what was easy to grab between classes, whatever took minutes to prepare, and whatever I could eat while I was working. What this comes down to is basically a lot of fast food, junk food, and processed food. And then I started buying new clothes because the other ones didn't fit. And then when those didn't fit, I bought bigger clothes... it just seemed like a fairly fixable problem. Unfortunately. I could always blame it on the hectic life of a working college student, even though I knew full-well that if I had made it a priority, I could have worked out. If I had made it a priority, I could have skipped the pricey coffee drinks and bought food that was better for me. The truth is, however, that I didn't do those things. Instead I made excuses. And now, all that work I did in high school was a waste, because I'm worse off than when I started. You're body isn't like most student loans... it's not going to defer changing just because you're a student. Your body shows no mercy. If anything, it's the most honest telling of your priorities. And taking care of myself, wasn't one of mine.
So now I'm a college graduate. I do work 2 jobs, but at an average of 25 hours a week. I'm making myself a priority. I'm making my health a priority because I honestly cannot continue to live this way and expect to never have consequences. I don't want to be at risk for heart problems by the time I'm 30. I want to be able to be an active adult. So this starts now.
I joined weight watchers (online) yesterday. Before when I joined, I did it for one month and at the end of the month, I had an excuse to quit. So I did. This time, I bought a 3 month membership. Yeah, it was kind of pricey, but I'm taking care of myself. At the end of three months, who knows. By then I may have managed to develop some skills and tricks of my own, so I won't need it anymore, but for now, since I paid for it, I know I'll use it. (I hate wasting money.) I don't know what it was that finally caused the *click* but I feel newly motivated. I spent an hour at the gym today, then went on a walk with friends this evening (it was so nice out!).
About three weeks ago, I was reading a health and fitness book and it had a tip that I really saw as doable. The tip recommended changing just one habit a week. I'm normally one of those people who wants to do everything at once, and I think that's where I would get overwhelmed and quit in the past. But I've been doing pretty well on this new adventure. Week one, I cut my soda intake down dramatically. I think that entire week, I had one diet pepsi. Week two; I went grocery shopping and bought only one pre-packaged item. Everything else I bought was either produce or dairy. Week three; I cut down to only one coffee drink a day. This is currently week 4. I threw away my sleep-aids. The idea of week 3 and 4 is finally giving my body back some of the control. I like being in control, to the point of deciding when I'm tired and deciding when I'm awake. However, that's not the way it's supposed to be. Just like we can't choose when we're hungry, we're not supposed to decide if we're tired or not. So this week may be rocky. Right now, I would normally be taking one of my sleep-aids and I could expect to fall asleep in the next half hour. But I'm not tired yet. So I'm going to just let my body call the shots. (Thank God I don't work until 6pm tomorrow!)
Ok wow, this has gotten a lot longer than I expected. But change is exciting and I want to share it :)
So if you've gotten to the end, congrats! You now know way more about me than anyone really needs to!
As always, thanks for reading!